No Fuss, New Friend, Holiday Wreath Treat

Being the new girl has its perks...when you're in seventh grade. Being the new girl, the twenty eight year old new girl, who lives in a new city and works from home, the perks are, well minimal. It's been a real effort to establish a base network of friends and I've been on more blind dates with girls than I have with guys...this is not a joke. So when I was invited, by a new lady friend, to her annual holiday cookie exchange, although I had a million and three things to accomplish before I left for Charleston the next morning, I was not about to decline. Since this is the first time I've had to truly put myself out there in the world to make friends, I've learned a few things-the rules that apply to dating guys do not apply to dating (friend dating) girls.

New Girl Rule #1: Don't play hard to get. Every girl and her sorority sisters already have enough friends to fill a mall so if you get an invite, you get yourself pulled together and you go.

They say the key to a guys heart is through his stomach, but if your friends are anything like mine, you know the same applies to girls. My plan of attack was to bring Saint Louis to Denver with a hometown specialty, Gooey Butter Cookies (originally gooey butter cake, but can easily be made into cookies) that would surely win this group of girls over one bite at a time.

That night as I lay in bed thinking about my new girlfriends (yes I would more than likely leave the party with at least nine really close friends) and the happy hour spots where we would meet after work to complain about mountain traffic, the dry air affects on our skin, and the Broncos taking over Sundays, where we would celebrate my birthday in a few months, when we would take our first girlfriends trip to Napa,  and...and then I started to panic. One of the reasons I chose gooey butter cookies was yes, because it's a hometown specialty, but also because they take fifteen minutes to prepare (seri), but I realized that if I, the new girl, showed up with plain yellow cookies while every other girl had beautifully iced sugar cookie cutouts of Santa, snowflakes, and snowmen, I would totally be seen as the girl who put zero effort into her cookies...which I so am not. I half ass nothing (besides a barre class here and there) and go overboard always, which I love because I take pride in my parties, presents, and my home, but hate it because it's expensive, exhausting, and makes my boyfriend cringe when I suggest having people over.

The next morning while I spent two, not so glorious hours, trying to fix my faulty printer I decided I wasn't going to the gathering. I was furious with myself for thinking I could show up with stupid yellow cookies that had nothing to do with Christmas, the girls would probably think they were yellow snow or elf vomit cookies. Who shows up to a Christmas party with reindeer pee cookies? Sick.

As I soaked in a bath and sipped my hot chocolate I realized I was on the verge of no showing the only holiday party I was invited to in 2013 and if I wanted to be invited to more than one in 2014, I needed to go.

I went to the grocery store and rummaged the aisles in search of something to make the cookies appear more festive. A tin can with candy canes? A couple of glass ball ornaments to place in the corners? Some poinsettias to set on the tray? I had nothing and I needed to be at the party in exactly one hour including get ready time. As I was on the verge of round two calling it quits, I remember the special Christmas wreaths I grew up making with my nana, they were simple, they were tasty, and they were oh-so cute. I grabbed the ingredients, ran home, and my platter was finished in under twenty minutes. As I walked out the door I was no longer dreading walking into the party as the new girl with yellow cookies, I was excited to show up with my festive platter of Christmas bliss.

Make This Platter If:
You need friends
You can't bake
You have no time
You have no money
You have a crush on your boss
You feel like you can't do anything
You lack creativity and your iced sugar cookies look like a tie-dye mess
You are sick of chocolate chip cookies
You like Rice Krispie Treats
You like butter
You need to impress someone
You are a walking Pinterest fail
Your mother in law is a Martha Stewart type

Recipes 
Gooey Butter Cookies
Rice Krispies Wreath

Platter Preparation 
Make cookies as directed, extra butter = extra friends. Make Rice Krispies as directed, except instead of multiple small wreaths, make one large wreath. Once the marshmallows and butter are melted add the green dye and then add the Rice Krispies and mix togther. I used a pizza pan to ensure a proper circle. Once the wreath is dry (5 minutes) place cookies inside and dust with confectioners (powdered) sugar for faux snow. I searched my place high and low for a red ribbon, with no luck. Next year I'll be better prepared and will arrive to each and every holiday party with my wreath treat in hand which will certainly be adorned with a bright red bow. Cheers!

Merry Christmas. Feliz Navidad. Joyeux Noel. Frohe Weihnachten. Shengdan Jie Kuaile.

The Cleanse: Part 2

I'm not sure how most deal, but when I gain weight, I'm talking it's time to head to the mall and purchase your entire wardrobe in the next size up weight gain, that's when I usually say buh bye to life as I enjoyed it (thoroughly enjoyed it) and step back to reality. After my spring/summer rendezvous plumped me up, I knew it was time to slim back down.

Most people like to shed the winter pounds for bikini season, but being the beach babe that I am not, my annual motivation kicks in when the sunshine and warm weather move out and the cool, gray days slip in...fall. There is nothing cuter than a girl in leggings, leather boots, a cropped jacket, paired with an oversized, infinity scarf, sipping a pumpkin ale,while watching a football game on a Sunday afternoon. And so with fall quickly (yes, quickly) approaching, it was time for me to kick it into high gear. OPERATION CUTE GIRL ON A CHILLY AND GRAY SUNDAY AFTERNOON WITH A PUMPKIN ALE WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAME.

And so off I went...off everything. Seriously everything, like I can barely eat anything. Barely. Anything.

My mom has been doing this cleanse called the Standard Process purification program about twice a year for the past three years. I always wonder why she does it because she can never partake in any of the fun eating and drinking we enjoy so much at our family gatherings and she is always, always, always preparing shakes, and vegetables, and...well that's it...shakes and vegetables. Either way, nope, no thanks, not for this girl...I'd rather lose my weight by on/off fasting and drinking vodka for two months (SOCIALLY. Socially drinking vodka for two months).

And then I went to Aspen one recent weekend and it hit me...my fall is going to start earlier than Saint Louis'  fall. Okay a. not really because fall is a day on a calendar and not how the weather feels b.WHO CARES?! Fall to me does not mean Sunday, September 22, 2013 (should be a holiday), it's when I can comfortably and appropriately (who am I kidding, I've been known to wear fall attire in late August) wear my uniform of leggings, boots, and scarves!!! c. best realization ever (might not be true)

And while the realization that fall would be coming sooner than expected was the best ever, the worst was when I realized fall would be coming sooner than expected...and I was not, I repeat, NOT in cute girl on a chilly and gray sunday afternoon with a pumpkin ale watching the football game ready. FML.

And so I turned to my mother who swears by this horrendous, boring, terrible, no good, very bad cleanse and I said, "Mother, I'm ready". She put me in touch with the chiropractor who she orders the supplements through and we had a little over the phone consultation, to make sure I'm not anorexic (I wish) and trying to be a crazy girl about this weight loss thing (couuuuuld beeeee) and then she told me the rules (ew, you won't even believe) and I gave her my credit card information and asked, "Can it be here in the morning?".

Overview

The Good: 
Detox of the liver, kidneys, and intestines
WEIGHT LOSS
WEIGHT LOSS
WEIGHT LOSS
General Healthiness, blah blah blah-I just want to be skinny

The Bad: 
No meat
No dairy
No sugar
No carbs
No processed food
No nuts
No beans aka no hummus (so lame)
No soda
No caffeine
No Alcohol (What exaaaactly does that specifically mean?)

The Ugly:
Make (so annoying) and consume two smoothie/shakes a day which include two powder supplements
Days 1-7: Take TWENTY ONE pills per day (big, stinky ones)
Days 8-21: Take ten pills per day (still big, still stinky)
No Alcohol (but wine is okay, because of the heart, right? NO)

In a Nutshell (can't have those either)
I can consume vegetables, fruit, water, and unsweetened green tea. Oh and a half a cup of lentils or brown rice up to twice a day. On day 11, if I choose, I can incorporate deep-sea fish and organic/free range chicken. I can only prepare my food with a small amount of oil and it's encouraged that a large amount of the vegetables you eat are raw (just keeps getting better). ALL of this for twenty one days.

And that is what they tell you, but what exactly do they not tell?

The Cleanse: Part Three coming soon...

A Peek: A Typical Day in Wine Country

{10:00-10:30am - alarms are very frowned upon here}

{11:30am-3:30pm - lunch will be tastings of wine and olive oil} 

{4:30-6:30pm - glassware is optional, corn dogs are not}

{8:00-10:00pm - never underestimate your level of intoxication, therefore you must order dessert}

{eat. drink. get fat.}

The Cleanse: Part 1

Have you ever been on a cleanse? Pause-A lot of really major things have taken place in my life and this, being the most recent, probably shouldn't be the first thing I share, but if you've never cleansed then you just won't understand. I truly feel that it's my responsibility to share with you, everything that they don't tell you about cleansing, in case someone out there is on the verge of taking the plunge...from the diving board...of the high dive...into the empty pool....like that drug commercial from the 80's. Don't do it.

Why did I choose to cleanse?

Jamaica-I spent 8 days with three girlfriends on a work trip that happened to include next to no work and instead, day after day at the pool sipping frozen beverages, enjoying afternoon soft serve ice cream, and spending evenings dining in Italy! Japan! Mexico! America!. Am I the only one who, when the food is free, feels the need to order a soup, salad, appetizer, entree, dessert, espresso, and Limoncello at each meal? Who am I kidding, in real life I might split an appetizer with someone and dessert never gets ordered, let alone an after dinner drink or better yet a post after dinner drink. Sick.

Sonoma-The calories are always worth it in wine country and I'd do it again tomorrow (If I weren't cleansing, of course). I spent 8 glorious days at my favorite hotel in the world, yes the world, and it was heaven. Each morning was savored with a cup of steaming coffee and some of that cool northern Californian air breezing through the windows of my cottage style suite, some afternoons were spent working and some spent touring wineries, but each and every evening was spent indulging glass after glass after glass after glass after glass of our nation's best wine and paired with that wine, on most evenings, was an incredible meal at a few of my favorite Sonoma restaurants such as El Dorado Kitchen, The Girl and the Fig, and Glen Ellen Inn. Sonoma blog to come with more suggestions...

Munich-And then I went to Germany for 12 days. In Germany they have three food groups and they are pretzels, wieners, and beer and each apply to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Enough said.

And so that brought me home and eventually asking myself, "Um, whyyyyy did the zipper on my jeans break?", "Ew why are the arms of my Zara blazer suffocating me??", "WHY is there an imprint on my stomach when I take off my cropped J. Crew pants?!", "What is going on?!!". Well..Jamaica, Sonoma, and Munich went on. And they went on... and on... and on... and on and so I went off.


The Cleanse: Part 2 coming soon...

I'm Sorry

Hi...how have you been? I hope you didn't forget about me, I didn't you....

I know we haven't talked in a while but it's just that...sometimes I get so busy and then time goes by and I push you out of my head and try to forget about all the time that has passed and and before I know it, it's been so long that it feels awkward and I don't want to look at you because it only reminds me of all the time that has passed and then I start thinking about you again and it becomes so frequent because I know I need to reach out and finally a day comes where I have nothing to do but sit in my bed alone after work because I've chosen to do this stupid twenty one day cleanse (it's so horrible, I have to tell you about it) and it's made me so crazy that my boyfriend has ditched me for Napa (can you believe??) and I got a new job (ohmygosh I'm just so overwhelmed), and I live in this new town (Denver, remember?) where I have exactly one friend (she's so fun-you'll love her) and she is at the circus with her boyfriend and so I get in my bed at 5:00pm, and open my computer, and I check my email, and Facebook, and Houzz, and the Nordstrom Anniversary sale (don't ask, it was bad) and Instagram, and Twitter, and West Elm, and finally....you. After five long months...I check you. And then I come to my senses and realize I really do miss you and it's been far too long. And I decide that I need to pay attention to you. Again.

 I promise I'll be better this time, Vodka and Birthday Cake.

Love,

Brittany xo

Calling America

Do you know that you can't travel internationally if your passport is not valid 6 months after your dates of travel? If yes.....well that's great. If not, ohmygod me neither!? I mean...what's the purpose of an expiration date if the goods aren't even good before said date? Just think if this were the case with milk. Can you imagine taking your first sip of some steaming hot chocolate and tasting sour milk?! Thank God I stumbled upon this information one week prior to my trip to Canada or I would have been in for an unsuspected surprise at the border, as my passport expires in June. How terribly embarrassing that would have been if I were trying to gain entrance back into the US and been denied...from my own country(gasp)! Blasphemy! I guess a couple of days in Vancouver wouldn't have been soooo bad, but surely my boss wouldn't have felt the same and being denied entry to your own country is for felons and terrorists, not ladies.

Lesson number 2,351 learned on the road: Make sure your passport is valid 6 months beyond your dates of travel.

Checking In Please...

Since I sleep in hotel rooms over 260 evenings a year, it feels like a vacation when I sleep elsewhere. While traveling on personal time, I'm a huge advocate of renting houses, apartments, and condos. I've seen my fair share of hotel rooms and believe it or not, there's not much of a difference between a ROH (Run of House aka standard hotel room) and a suite. Besides square footage, most hotel rooms feel the same....not homey. Listed below are the pros and cons of taking the rent route as opposed to staying in a hotel.

Pros: 
1. Size-A standard ROH room is 300-400 square feet and a standard one bedroom apartment is double that, not to mention a four bedroom house.
2. Rooms-Kitchen (cooking!), dining room (more intimate than a restaurant), laundry, multiple bathrooms, multiple bedrooms, living room, patio/deck, front porch
3. Amenities-Refrigerator, dishwasher, dish and glassware, washer/dryer, dvd's, grill (not all), fire pits (not all), bicycles (not all)-I can't tell you how many times, while staying in hotels, I've walked/cabbed to the nearest Walgreens to buy a wine opener.
4. Price- The cost of renting a privately owned home is, most often, significantly less expensive per night than a hotel room.
5. Owners-Home owners are generally willing to work with you because they are excited you've chosen their home to rent and they are happy about making some extra money. In the past I've had owners personally drop off the keys to a hotel where I was working, allow me to check in early and check out late, leave fresh flowers in a vase as a sweet welcome, and come down on nightly rates (apartment was listed at $150 a night and I negotiated $100  if we stayed three nights).
6. Parking-Hotel parking charges (not talking hotels out in the middle of nowhere) add up and often are not taken into consideration when booking the room, which means this expense will creep up out of no where. The cost is $33 per night at The Roosevelt  in L.A. and $55 at The Mercer in NYC-when renting you usually don't have to pay for street parking (residential area) and often there is a garage or space in a large garage that comes with the unit.
7. Common Space-No girl wants to sit on a bed in her dress and heels while having a cocktail before going out nor do families want to pile into one hotel room to hang out while traveling. When you rent a home you have the option of hanging out in the kitchen, living room, basement, media room and other common space. It's much better for entertaining as well (unless you are in some penthouse suite in Vegas that boasts 2,500 square feet and a Baby Grand piano-average $5,000 a night-oy!).
8. Comfort-Rentals feel like a home because...well, they are someone's home.

Cons:
1. DIY-If you wake up a little hungover in the morning and you're longing for some steamy pancakes and eggs benny, you will have to get up and make it because in-room dining does not exist, sadly.
2. Cleanliness-Some people like staying in hotels because it's like being a child or being wealthy-you come home and your room is magically clean. For me, this isn't a big deal since I'm annoyingly tidy and don't need someone to put my clothes away, throw away my apple core from the bedside table, and pick up my towels from the floor (if you put your towels on any floor that's sick).
3. House Cleaner-On top of the cost of the rental you'll also pay a one time charge to have a housekeeper come in and clean after you depart. The fee varies depending on the city and the square footage of the home, on average I've paid around $80.

I honestly can't think of one more, but I'm trying to be fair and come up with at least half as many cons as I did pros...

4. Hotel Bar-There is no hotel bar to enjoy a night cap and recap your evening out and some hotels have really amazing bars-ex. The Carousel Bar at the Hotel Monteleone in New Orleans.

When taking the rental route I use Vacation Rental By Owner and have had nothing but wonderful experiences through this website. If you've never rented, I strongly encourage you to give it a try. It changes the entire feel of the trip and who doesn't want to go "home", after a long day exploring. Oh and did I mention house parties?

Happy house hunting!

Colorado Girl

People, when traveling, often find themselves in love with the city they are exploring and say, "I could really see myself living here". That statement always makes me smile because I can relate to that feeling of truly seeing yourself living in that special place, making that city your own, and building a world for yourself, but 98% of the time, people go home, get back to their routine, and never make the move. 

From New York to San Francisco, Boston, Bethesda, and Barcelona...I've had love affairs with them all. I've pictured my apartment, my friends, and my weekends spent at markets, brunches, and museums. I've envisioned myself walking to barre class, into the coffee shop on the corner where the barista knows my order (tall chai with skim, half the chai, extra hot please), and smiling at familiar faces in my neighborhood. Life is always perfect when you imagine yourself in another place-you're happy and everyone is friendly. Your apartment is always adorable because rent is affordable and you have exceptionally good taste in decor, you're ten pounds lighter, and you love your job. 

There is one place that, through the years, has tugged at my heart and whispered my name long after I returned home and was back to my routine. This place is rugged and beautiful, majestic and enchanting. It's small enough to make my own, but large enough to endlessly explore. It's full of great restaurants, music, and parks, but offers room to breathe when I tire of the bustle. There are mountains and valleys, rivers and lakes, and sunshine and snow. Colorado wins and this Missouri lady is packing her belongings and heading west. Her apartment will be perfect, she will be happy, and everyone will be friendly. Right? 

"He was born in the summer of his 27th year

Comin' home to a place he'd never been before

He left yesterday behind him, you might say he was born again

You might say he found a key for every door"

-John Denver, Rocky Mountain High

Birthday Show

To celebrate my birthday last night, I went with a couple of friends/colleagues (Atlanta for work) to a show at The Masquerade, which is an old mill turned music venue. We had a blast exploring the different three levels cleverly named Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. If you're ever in the ATL area, you must go, no matter who is performing.

The headliner,  Toro y Moi is a hipster black guy who put on a great show, super chill. My personal favorite, however, was the opening band, brother/sister duo Wild Belle. The lead singer, Natalie Bergman, is this ridiculous hybrid of Adele and Amy Winehouse with a splash of Stevie Nicks. Her voice is smokey and sultry and her look is all seventies, total babe (I want to be her). It's a such shame these two are related, otherwise they'd be the white Jay and Beyonce. World's coolest brother and sister, Elliot and Natalie Bergman, Wild Belle. 

I'll Cry if I Want to

Today is my day, February 6th-my birthday. As a little girl,  I used to wake up with butterflies in my stomach, excited to see what the day would bring. My parents would wake me with kisses and hugs and just about as much excitement as the birthday girl herself.  I'd get dressed in an extra special outfit, pack up my birthday treats for my class (why did the birthday person provide their own treats?) and head to school. Birthdays were the best.  Isn't it funny how you never "felt" the difference in a day when it was someone else's, but when it was yours-it felt like a holiday? That's a pretty special thing. The double digits seemed so very old and sixteen would never come, let alone twenty one.  And then I grew up, or so I thought.

 The day I turned twenty one, I cried. All I could think about was the Ladytron song, Seventeen. 

"They only want you when you're seventeen
When you're twenty-one, you're no fun"

And then I cried some more. I was washed up, old, and undesirable. I didn't want to go the bars to celebrate, I was there the night before. 

Seven years later I awoke in a bed, in a hotel room, and it wasn't the Four Seasons. I can't say there are butterflies, as I know what the day will bring, but there are definitely no tears. Those years gifted me something invaluable, a sense of reality. Gone are the days when the world revolved around me and I wasted time pouting about not being seventeen (narcissism at its finest). I realize that I have to work for those things my heart desires, exercise to maintain my figure, and do things that aren't always fun to remain employed. I have a sense of responsibility, a savings account, and a desire to be something other than an heiress. It was Paris, now it's Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney. To all the young girls, there's more to life than vacations, parties, and the Kardashians -a lot more. 

Tonight my toast is to another another year wiser, another year happier, and another year healthier. Bring on the birthday bubbles!