Snow Bunny with Extra Fur, Please

I awoke to the sound of my church bells alarm this morning. I should probably change that because I find myself cursing it most mornings and cursing church bells...well that's just not nice. I've heard that you can record your own voice as a daily alarm, I may ask my ex if he would like to do the job...cursing him is right in every way. It immediately felt like one of those mornings when you just want to lay in bed and watch SATC reruns allllll day and text boys until one of them agrees to deliver Bread Co. chicken noodle soup to you bedside. So I was super cozy in my warm bed and I had on the cutest jammies (new J. Crew nighty dress...ADORABLE and sexy in a super preppy, good girl way...not like my other sexies from fellow bad girl, first name Victoria, last name Secret). So I slowly pulled up my eye blinders, pulled off the covers, went to the window and saw that the sky was gray and everything in sight was snow white. Immediately part of me (all of me) was sad that I was not in Colorado at the bottom of a beautiful mountain sipping a Fragile Baby while trying my best to look sexy while bundled in layers of ski apparel. My vision is as follows: Me in tight black, modern cut (Low on the waist, flared at the calf) ski pants (My butt looks super cute and a just a little bit tighter). I have on a matching black ski coat with LOTS of fur around the hood. My hair (Which has tons of blonde highlights in this vision) is in a sassy, messy, little bun on the top of my head. I have Chanel goggles resting on the top of my head (Butterflies at the thought!), and diamonds (Cartier Platinum 1.51 ctw round studs) in my ears. Oh and my lips are nude with LOTS of gloss (Gotta make sure my smile shines through the snow and drift on the top of the mountains). So there it is...that's my vision. I left my window, put on my slipps, walked to the bathroom in a love sick for the mountains daze and ran a hot bath (That I pretended was a hot tub on the deck of a $12 million condo in Telluride). God, please take me to the mountains...I will be a such a good, good girl and if you throw in the studs, I will forever be your angel. Until then...I sit here in my faux (shhh) fur Forever 21 oversized vest with my black, knee high boots and black leggings. My hair is in a messy, little bun on top of my head and my jewelry...well, I am boasting no Cartier, but feeling some sass none the less.

VBC, How I've Missed Thee

Since my last update, which was approximately 11 weeks ago (bad girl!), the following has not occured in my life;

1) A gorgeous surgeon with a slight bad boy edge fell entirely in love with me
2) I was the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker
3) I got the Balenciaga Motorcycle bag that I have been dreaming of nightly for almost 4 years
4) I am now writing to you from NYC because I work for Vogue
5) I woke up and my boobs were no longer DD's, but a small B cup
6) John Mayer wrote a song about me
7) I conquered a double black diamond and looked AH mazing (both outfit and skill wise) while doing it
8) Karl Lagerfeld asked me to be his date to the Costume Institue Gala 2010
9) I am spending NYE La Perla lingerie clad and sipping champagne in a suite at the Ritz Carlton in Paris
10) VBC reached 1,000,000 views

The following has;

1) I got laid...and we are not talking s.e.x. or Hawaii...we're talking job
2) I took a last minute trip to Minnesota during a snow storm for my great grandmother's 97th birthday (You go Granny!!)
3) I was a victim of robbery
4) I tracked down my thief in North County and got my stolen possession back! (Sassy Girl 1, Dirty Rotten Thief 0)
5) I was slipped the DRD (Date rape drug, okay this time I really think I was!)
6) I then booked a flight to New York for Cinco while I was still under the influence the next day (SO EXCITED!!! But seriously sad if I were a victim of DRD)
7) I got my first brazilian (I'm a woman now!!)
8) I tried to count to 1,000 one day when I was bored (true story, lost track in the teens)
9) I went to the Nutcracker (Girl's tradition in my fam and always a GREAT motivator to not eat for a few days after)
10) I posed in a picture with the World's tallest man!! (So what if he was concrete)

Okay so getting laid off most definitely puts a damper on things, I mean my life is not exactly a replica of the Michael Kors ad I was shooting for, but here is a list of some of the perks;

1) You get to play cute, young, housewife at the grocery store (Put a ring on it and stroll with the other DHW's)
2) Nail salons are dead (Walk right in and sit down!)
3) Two words; Martini lunch
4) Perfect your housewife skills (Cooking, cleaning, laundry...they don't teach it in college, sister)
5) Never wait for the tred at the gym (Downside is all the guys are at work, but great if you need to drop some weight before giving the flirty eye while killin' the cals)
6) Explore the city; museums, parks, neighborhoods (You could become your city's next ambassador!)
7) Work on your golf game (You can take all the time you need and there won't be anyone behind you pressuring you to rush)
8) You have time to take up a hobby like painting wine glasses or knitting (Great money saver when giving gifts on a tight budg)
9) It's much easier to get a last minute appointment (Salons and spas fill up quickest on nights and weekends, Facial on Wednesday at 2:00? Why not?!)
10) No more crowded movie theaters!! (Just you, Edward Cullen, and the dark)

Moral of the story; Just because the Kors ad lifestyle has been put on hold, it does NOT mean that all sassiness is lost, if any at all! Recently my father said to me, "Sweetheart, you are living a champagne lifestyle on a beer budget", I prefer, Andres budget. Either way, I'm saying ta ta to 2009, grabbing my Bans, and keeping my fingers crossed that twenty ten will be brighter than the rock Elin Woods has coming her way! Happy New Year sassy boys and girls!

From Fall to Wintour

I can't remember when I first heard about Karl Lagerfeld, it was years ago and I was immediately intruiged with the man behind the seams at Chanel. I would scour the internet for any information, pictures, interviews, and videos of him, but never came up with much. I knew what he looked like, what he did for a living and I knew who he was most likely to arrive arm in arm with at the Costume Institute Gala or who he would most likely seat front and center at one of his shows, but I was more interested in the man himself. I wanted to see him on an average day (pretty sure it doesn't exist), I wanted to know the man behind the dark shades and underneath the black and white suits and black leather gloves. I was beyond thrilled when I discovered there was a documentary out titled "Lagerfeld Confidential". I could NOT believe that Karl agreed to let cameras into his private world of glamour, luxury, and excess. Now take that excitement and multiply it by 32 and that's how excited I was when the news hit that Anna Wintour was doing the same thing. Anna. Wintour. While I scoured for Karl, I more or less stalked for Anna. I was obsessed with knowing the woman who was perched upon the throne of Vogue Magazine. The woman who had a best selling novel turned film written about her and her ice cold demeanor, the woman who literally held the keys to the gates of fashion in her cold, skinny, hands. When I heard about "September Issue", I couldn't believe that I was going to be invited (for 90 minutes) into the world of Ms. Wintour and Vogue. I couldn't wait to see the ice queen interact with her staff and everyone in her world and to see inside her home and the offices of Vogue. The film was T.D.F. (to die for)...seri T.D.F. And the icing on the cake? Well, I did not think that for ONE second Anna would be letting her walls down, but she COMPLETELY did. I won't ruin it for those who have not seen, but I strongly encourage anyone who has any curiosity or interest in the world of fashion, glamour, and beauty to go see "September Issue". Ms. Wintour knocks em' dead in knee length, floral, dresses and her signature oversized black Chanel's. You go girl!

November Rain

Saturday afternoon I was working and found myself craving peanut M&M's. My director keeps some in his office and sometimes when I have these little cravings I suddenly "remember a question that I have" and make my way in there. Once inside, I ask my question and then give my best "ohhhhh, forgot those were in here and they look to die for right now" look and then grab a handful of sin. So I grabbed the goods and we started chatting. I sat down in the chair opposite him and while I was in the middle of gushing to him about my recent boot purchase (best find EV) he interrupted me and said, "Oh my god, Brittany, look oustide my office". I turned and there, right in front of our eyes, was a grey mouse. We watched him walk out of someone's cube and then his body just hit the ground. He rolled onto his back and then his legs started twitching, I yelled, "What is going on?! Is he in pain!? What is happening?!" and then he was still...one more body twitch and then still again. We sat there in silence for about 26 seconds and then looked each other dead in the eye and both said, "Is he dead?". I got out of my seat and walked over to get a better look. My director yelled, "What are you doing!? You can't get so close!!" (I quickly found out that my director, who is a 30 year old, 6'4, male is afraid of mice). I squatted down and peered at the mouse for about 8 seconds and realized he was dead. Gone. The angel of darkness had entered our office and in front of our eyes we watched, experienced, and swallowed death. We later found that the cause of the death was poison. Damn, another one bites the dust. Later on that day the experience had me thinking of my own death. I have always invisioned myself to have a very dramatic funeral on a cool, November day. When I was ten I wrote down very specific instructions for my funeral and kept them in a box (along with a picture of Kate Moss with red lips pursed around a cigarette and my fav pic of Harrison Ford). I wrote that I wanted all the men to wear sunglasses and all the women in black veils. Everyone had to be head to toe in black. I wanted black and white photographs to be taken and I requested it be a cold, dark, rainy day (thanks God!). I also had a list of songs that I wanted to be played and the two that I remember are Joe Cocker, "You are so beautiful" and Whitney Houston, "I will always love you". My mother said that my funeral seemed little vain (clearly she didn't get how to leave this world with true grace and style). While I may not be Princess Di, I can assure you, I never leave a party without making a good exit.

Boogie on Reggae Woman

Back in June I went to visit a boy who lives in Aspen. He loves reggae like I love purses and I...well I know as much about reggae as I do about the periodic table. There are three things that come to my mind when I think of reggae...drugs, dreads, and drum circles. People often think that I'm a hippie, but I'm totally not. Yes my style can be very reflective of the late 60's and early 70's and yes I do enjoy Hendrix, Clapton, and Zeppelin...but trust me when I say...I am not a hippie. And just to clarify...I'm not a faux hippie, I much prefer hippie chic. So when I was leaving Aspen my friend made me a couple of cd's and there was this certain song that I was OB.SESSED with. I knew a girlfriend of mine who would appreciate the song as much as I and when I played it for her she loved it....we goog'd the lyrics and found that the artist was Michael Franti. We started listening to some of his other stuff and then saw that he was coming to town in October. The guy in Aspen just went to his show a few weeks ago and his sister (who I met up with in NYC) almost died when we told her we were considering buying some tix. She said it was amazing and poss one of the best shows EV. So tonight is the big show and I hope I fall in love with Michael as it seems everyone else already has. I am kind of excited about my outfit and to see all the real hipps! I hope I blend in (shall I go sans shoes?!) and until my next update...PLH (Peace, Love, Happiness)

Blackberry or Die

Labor Day weekend (aka the start to FALL) came and went. That Saturday was the MU/IL Arch Rival game, it was a beyond amazing day of running into friends, cheering Mizzou on, experiencing Fieldhouse in St. Louis, drinking...and more drinking. The day was AH. MA. ZING. It was 10 times better than I could have imagined. BTW I would just like to say that Mizzou has GREAT school colors (and no I did not go to Mizzou). When your school colors are purple and green, it's a little hard to look cute at a tailgate, but black and gold...my goodness, the options are endless. All a girl has to do is wear a black cotton dress and black leggings and then pile on the gold jewelry. SO FUN! I think I like to be apart of all the MU ruckus because I love getting creative with the outfit. Anyway, somewhere along the way I broke my beloved Blackberry. The guy at ATT said, "water damage". I said to him, "Um sir, I was not around any water on Saturday". He then he looked at me like I had just said that I had impregnated Elizabeth Taylor and said, "liquid damage". Ahhhhh, that made much more sense.

Decision time: Ironically, just the day before, I was in a very deep, very serious conversation with my sister, her boyfriend, and some others' about phones. The topic was: Would you EVER make the switch from Blackberry to iPhone? My response, "SICK, NEVER!". My sister, her boyf and I agreed that we were BBY till we die and iPhones were...well...something we were not nor would ever be interested in. I swore up and down that I would forever be a lover of keys and would never conform to a touch screen. Well let me tell you, when I saw the $400 price tag on the BBY I wanted, it did not take long before I did the unspeakable...yes....buy an iPhone. After my purchase was finalized my sales guy asked me if I wanted him to show me a bit about my new phone, I said, "no, I just want to go home" and walked out with my head down. I am still adjusting and I do at times feel like a sellout, but I secretly, yes, very secretly like it and I tried reallllly hard not to. What's even worse...I can not, for the LIFE of me, remember my iTunes login or password (RIP my comp), so I have not even started downloading the apps or any songs on it. Moral of the story? I'm going to go with...Don't speak too soon or Don't knock it till you try it. At least I admit it.

Beauty Sleep = Beauty Queen

Lately, a lot of my friends and others' that I know have been complaining of not sleeping well at night, some resorting to sleeping pills (two words: Fat Elvis, Ew). Good sleep should come naturally and let me tell you, sleep is VERY important for your health, not to mention your BEAUTY. I once had a guy at work tell me I look tired all the time (excuse me?!). I have found that if you start to relax yourself a few hours or so before bedtime, you will sleep like an Anne Geddes baby. Here are some of the things that I do every weeknight (non happy hour nights) to relax myself before bed.

1) Make dinner: For me, I enjoy cooking a meal and when you have a hot guy to cook for, well that means double the enjoyment. Cooking is a source of relaxation and a great way to unwind after a long day at work. (When a guy is involved, my sources of relaxation might be slightly altered)

2) After clean up, take a walk. I live in an urban area and there are tons of beautiful homes that I like to look at and try to peek inside of. This is a great time to get your leggings and Ugg slippers on, along with a scarf (items that are banned at the office, but essential for me to put on for at least a little bit every day).

3) Take a hot, bubble bath. This is my NUMBER ONE source of relaxation. Let's face it, I'm not Blair Waldorf and obvi don't have Dorota to give me a massage every night so instead of an amazing rub down, I pamper myself with a bubb bath filled with chamomile and lavender oils and other BB products (Target carries their own version of Johnson's Night Time Lavender Baby Wash for $1.08..RIDIC).

4) MOISTURIZE. I like to think of moisturizing as "sealing the deal". When you get out of a hot bath and put lotion on your warm, slightly wet body, you are sealing alllll the precious oils, scents, and soaps in your skin. Once again, Target has a versh of Johnson's Lavender Night Time Baby Lotion for a little over $3.

The best feeling in the world is when you get your jammies on and crawl into your cozzzyyy bed while smelling like a lavender angel. What you do while you are in bed is up to you, because let's face it, anything you do in bed is going to be relaxing, unless you are bancing (bed dancing, way too nerdy and embarassing to explain). Don't forget your eye blinders and if you STILL are unable to sleep after this...drink three glasses of wine, which always works for me!

Good Girl Gone Bad

My mother has not approved of the majority of the guys I have dated. Ater meeting them she always warned me, "Brittany, you are playing with fire, do not date this guy". I tend to go for guys who (as politely as possible), don't have a lot going on. In her words, "you date guys that you feel sorry for" (awesome). After about 6 months I usually realize she is right and have to break up with them even though I'm head over 6 inch heels. It's devestating and I have accepted that I am a masochist. Going to New York was the same. I knew when I left for the city that I was, "playing with fire". I started out intrigued, decided to dip my toes in the water, and got burned...bad. I was the sweet, naive girl and NYC had heartbreaker written all over it and just like most good girls that get a taste of something new and exciting, have decided to make it my goal to find my way back...for a very extended stay? Perhaps!

BATC, Brittany and the City

In just 15 hours I will be leaving on a jet plane heading east with a celebratory mimosa (or screwdriver, this plane won't be carrying champagne) in hand. I will be heading for the city that doesn't sleep and I have a strong feeling that New York and I are going to fall hopelessly in love. For the record, I plan on falling in love in the fall, getting married in the fall, and having babies in the fall....in that order...I hope. I am secretly hoping that I miss my flight home, not because I had too many mims at brunch, but because I am kissing the man of my dreams next to an old bridge, surrounded by the colorful leaves of Central Park...one foot in the air of course.

Enchanté de vous connaître

1. I am really good at convincing people to let me cut their hair, even though I have no clue what I am doing.

2. In college I had a fake id business and people would come to my dorm window, which was located on the ground level, and I would chalk id’s for 5 dollars.

3. When I was living in LA and only knew one person who worked all day, I befriended a homeless man named Howard who I hung out with on the promenade for about a week straight.

4. My family used to own two horses. I rode English and jumped.

5. I was on the Blue Man Group tour bus and they asked me to go to Albuquerque with them.

6. I started a book club for sassy girls, SLBC!

7. I love browning meat and chopping anything in the kitchen.

8. When I was a child, I took first place in the diving competition 5 years in a row at camp and never took a diving lesson.

9. No one can make me laugh like my sister. We can laugh for days.

10. I know every single word to "Doin' it" by LL Cool J.

11. I take bubble baths every night.

12. Everyone in my family was either Prom Queen or King…except for me.

13. My first attempt at Karaoke was when I was seven years old at Tokyo Steakhouse. I sang “I’m a little teapot”.

14. Every time I go to church, I cry.

15. I always think I see famous people. This year alone, I thought I saw Dennis Quaid at Nordstrom, Eric Clapton in the VIP area at Harry’s, and Bill Clinton in the produce section at the Clayton Schnucks.

16. Every night, including in the dead of the winter, I sleep with two fans on, one right next to my face and the fan on my ceiling…full blast.

17. If I had to choose between being a princess or a queen, I would be a princess.


18. The best feeling ever is when I get out of the bath and get my lotion and pajamas on and climb into my bed.

19. I could not survive in a world of clutter. Everything in my life needs to be clean, tidy, and organized in order for me to function properly.

20. I have called 911 about 10 times in my life, four times in the past two years.

21. I sincerely believe there is goodness inside of everyone and that sometimes you have to help show people where it is.

22. I much prefer a dark, cool day over a hot, sunny one.

23. Once when I was four years old I was roller skating down a street in my neighborhood, my sister who was on her bike, passed me up and I got so mad that I skated as fast as I could, head first, right into a big wooden fence.

24. If I could wear leggings every single day, I would.

25. My imagination is my best friend and my worst enemy.

No Words

So I had to work last night until 8PM. It was really hard going into work on a Sunday, a dreary, rainy one at that. I don't need to say it, but I will again... I LOVE fall Sundays, the cooler and darker, the better. So when I got off work all I wanted to do was go to Square One Brewery, a block from my house, have a beer, the absolute best pot roast EVER and watch the baseball game. I called a friend of mine and he agreed to meet me there. We walked in and sat at a booth in the bar and ordered our drinks. It was beyond cozy and exactly what I was looking for. I had just taken a sip of my cold bev and as I looked up, who I saw next literally made my heart stop beating and my body go numb. I don't know what happened, some force entered my body and without thinking I just got up (while my friend was in the middle of a sentence), left the booth, and went outside to the patio. I wasn't sure if it was him, but I just stood there staring right at him and then he turned and looked into my eyes and said "wassssuuupppp boo boo." IT WAS HIM. It was the courtroom creeper. I put this on the authenticy of my handbags. He acted really weird like he was going to get in trouble if he was seen talking to me (maybe he had a jealous girlfriend watching from a distance)...he whispered, "I get off at nine, can I see you then?", I told him I was there with my boyfriend (so not true) and could not meet him, but just wanted to say hello. I have NO clue why I followed him outside and I have NO clue why I said hello, I can already hear my mother lecturing me. All I can say was it shocked me and I had no control over my body. I've never done any hallucinogenic drugs, but I think it's safe to say I had an out of body experience.

There is Nothing Sassy About JD

Long story as short as poss: I recieved a jury summons in the mail about a month and a half or two months ago. I recently moved because I had a roommate who preferred not to pay her rent, lost my summons sheet, had it dawn on me exactly 31 hours before I was to appear at the courthouse that I had jury duty, had to call my boss and tell her that I not only forgot to tell her that I would not be at work on Monday because I, like the responsible adult that I am, forgot I was serving, but also that I had no idea where I was serving. Somehow (word vom) this lead to me admitting to her that I also have not had a valid driver's license since December (yes, 9 months ago). Needless to say, it was a humbling conversation. So Monday morning I was up at 7 so that I could shower and call various courts to find out where I was serving. I called the county and they transfered me to federal and then lastly I called city, ding ding ding. (I don't even live in the city...I guess I messed up on that too). So I walk in an hour late (I hate late people) and have to tell them that I don't have my sheet. They found my name and told me to go upstairs to the jury waiting room. OMG, it was like walking into the crowded caf on your first day in a new school where you know NO ONE (yes I have faced it and yes as a senior I sat with a table of fresh who OBVIOUSLY had not heard about my arrival bc they wouldn't even look at me) So obvi everyone (like 200 people) stared at me and not one person smiled, because let's face it, we weren't at happy hour, we were sitting at the city courthouse about to get paid $12 for an entire days work (isn't that illegal?). So basically the first day was nothing worth sharing. I sat in a room from 9-3:30 and read a book from start to finish. Let me just say, it is quite eye opening when you are removed from your social "bubble" and placed with a group of randomly selected people. You are no longer surrounded by the people who eat at the same resturaunts, go to the same bars, and shop at the same stores as you. I didn't realize the general population is so...slobby.

Day 2: So I woke up early and got ready for my big day in court. I was ready to be a serious jury woman and definitely had to look the part; polished, conservative, with a hint of sexy (just like Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny). I stopped and got a latte before heading to court and was early for trial (I needed a little time to mentally prepare). My number was called shortly after I arrived and after listening to a brief explanation of the rules and how the day would go, I was lead to the courtroom with a group of about 60 other potential jurors. Right when I walked in I saw the lawyers and the defendant already seated. I made sure to sit as close as possible to the defendant so I could get a good look at him and really feel out the sitch. Right when I saw him I felt a jab in my tummy and my gut screamed "GUILTY". I had to remind myself that the law says you are "innocent until proven guilty", and as a member of the jury I had to honor this young man his rights as a citizen. The bailiff called twelve people to sit in the jury box, I was a little confused as to why I was not one of the twelve, but was quickly relieved when my number was called to sit in one of six wooden chairs next to the prosecutor, the rest had to sit on the spectator benches. I did NOT go to trial to be a spectator and figured I was called to sit up front because they had seen me and had a feeling I was going to make the final twelve. The judge came in and court had officially started. The prosecutor then started asking the group questions. Let me just tell you...people like to talk and they like to share their experiences. The prosecutor told us that this trial had to do with the defendant being charged with first degree robbery and criminal intent. He then went on to ask us questions relating to our experiences with robbery, criminals, our experience with the law etc. for the next 8 hours. It was pretty easy for one to figure out very shortly that you only needed to raise your hand and share your story if you thought that your experience was going to have an affect on your ability to fairly make a decision regarding the defendant. Well...people NEVER figured that out, that or they just did not care and wanted everyone to hear their stories. For instance, when asked if anyone has ever been robbed or had someone close to them be a victim of robbery a woman raised her hand and felt the need to share with the court that her neighbor's car was broken into SEVENTEEN years ago. He then asked her what he asked EVERY SINGLE person that shared a story, "now do you think that the robbery that occured is going to affect your ability to fairly make a decision?" She said no. If your answer is no then you are obviously sharing for NO REASON other than you like your voice or you want people to look at you. That's it. Next question. Does anyone in this courtroom know another person in here or related to someone in here? A woman in the back raises her hand and says that she has SEEN another woman in the courtroom before (huh??). The prosecutor asks her to eplain. She says that she has been in a store off north Kingshighway and thinks she recognizes the woman from being in there before. On this one, I sighed as loudly as I could, shifted dramatically in my chair, and then looked around the court with my "is this woman effing serious" look. Next question. Is anyone in this room in contact with someone in prison? A woman raises her hand and says that a few years ago she recieved a call from her friend that was in jail because she got a DWI. I literally stopped breathing. On top of this irritation, the man who was sitting in front of me had a bar code tattooed on the back of his neck and underneath it said F*CK YOU. I can not tell you how much it bugged me. I decided that the tattoo should be illegal, because why should a nice, innocent girl like me have to sit and look at such an offensive thing?! I wanted so badly to dig my red fingernail right into it, but I knew I had to contain myself in a court of law. Then there was the guy next to me. He was a black guy who was probably 27 years of age. When asked if anyone in the courtroom had been convicted of a felony he was the only one who raised his hand. Great. You know when you can tell someone is trying to make eye contact with you, like everytime you move your eyes you can see them pressing for you to look into their eyes? Well this guy could have made a living doing it and I'm 97% sure that when he recieved his summons he misread "jury booty" for "jury duty". He started whispering creep nothings into my ear..."washur name girl?", "you gotta man?", "you got pretty eyes", "is that your wedding ring" (um I hope not it's fake turqouise from Forever!), "damnnnnnn (heavy, creepy sigh) you sexy", "you got pretty feet", I wrote all of these down in my Urban Outfitter notebook that was SUPPOSED to be for trial notes. Also, this guy had the worst breath EVER and he clearly did not learn to take note of body language because I could not have been leaning further from him. At one point, I swear he was talking to my back. After breaking for lunch he said, "Girl you smell so goood", it really took a lot not to say "Sir, I can not reciprocate the compliment". It was so bad that on my break I ran home and grabbed my purple scarf and sprayed a quarter bottle of Vera Wang Princess on it so whenever he talked to me after that I pressed my nose and mouth into it, he still did not get it. The rest of the afternoon went by just the same as the morning, more ridiculous stories and more creep nothings from my jury neighb. Finally at 6 PM they came to a decision...I was not one of the chosen 12. I think it was because they saw me as too informed and a bit of a threat to the case. I was glad to get out of there and back to my normal life with normal (kind of) people. I was ready to never, ever see the courtroom creeper again. For all you out there that have not been called, jury duty is not glamorous or fun. It is a wake up call and a reminder for you to stay in your social bubble. Never. Leave. It.

There's Something About Mary

Yes, there is definitely something about her. I was invited by a girlfriend to see Mary Poppins at the Fox last night. First off, let me say that these tickets are as good as they get, dead center third row...I LOVE when she invites me because seeing the show that close...it's out of control. Back to Mary. I didn't remember much of the story line before going. I think I've seen the movie once...prob 18 (omg) years ago. I remembered that Mar was this nanny lady who flew around with her umbrella and fed children spoons full of sugar. That is it. Also, the Mary I remembered, she was an older woman who had no sex appeal. Let me just tell you, Mary has some serious sass and I swear, a little sexy cloud follows her around at all times. Somewhere, somehow Mary fell off the radar of sexy, strong, female, role models...but she is back. The girl does not dress sexy, yet looks completely hot. No more homeless chic, MP has brought back the sexiness in being put together and proper. She shows NO cleav or legs, yet all you think about is how good she looks. She explains herself NEVER and does what she wants. She comes and goes when she pleases and people do whatever she says without blinking an eye. I think all young children need to see MP in action. Girls will see that you don't need to prance around with your belly out and cleavage up to your chin to be sexy and boys, well they will have a real appreciation for a girl that does what she wants, looks good without looking like a hoe, and doesn't tolerate any BS. Mary is the new Miley.

Fall Has Arrived

Well...I didn't last long. I tried hard, but couldn't do it. I woke up way too early this past Sunday morning and started running through the previous night in my head. I thought about running into my sister's high school ex boyf, the random guy dressed like Pee Wee Herman (what?!), my friends beautiful engagement ring, thinking shots were a good idea (sick), how I had to use the men's restroom because the line to the girl's was RIDIC (funny how I would never dream of doing that while out to lunch, but after 4 drinks seems completely acceptable)...and then I remembered something that made me really excited. I remembered the walk from Over/Under to Lucas and how cool the air felt. I thought of the walk from the bar to the car and how chilly it was outside, to the point of having goosebumps. I loved it! A friend of mine text me saying we should get lunch...and then I had the grandest of ideas. I told him we were going to the grocery store and I was going to make a huge pot of chili!! (my fav thing to cook in the fall) When I got to his house I asked him to turn down the air really low so it felt like fall annnnnd because I was starting to get a bit warm...in my leggings. I know...I am a total failure, but oh well, if I can extend fall to four months instead of three...well that is just amazing.

The Secret Gardens of Saint Louis

I love to explore and am always up for an exciting adventure. On most Saturday afternoons, after I finish my errands and a quick stop at Forever 21, I can be found driving around listening to music and in search of some sort of afternoon adventure. A lot of people mistake my curiosity for nosiness, but it's 110% curisosity and quite frankly, I am surprised it hasn't killed me yet. Here are some general guidelines that I always try to follow.

1. Always have a PIC (partner in crime) with you, not to practice safety or anything, but how much fun is it to rummage through some big, scary, abandoned building alone? UH NOT AT ALL. (For safety purposes, a PIC is essential when ghetto cruising, it's just not smart to enter gang territory sans a pack)

2. When approaching a homeless person's place of squatting, make sure to give a friendly call out before getting too close. Trust me on this.

3. Camera, Camera, Camera

4. Always have cash on you. Seedy places tend to accept cash only. I recently took a trip to the Pevely Flea Market and fell in love with a vintage gold watch and I only had my deb on me. Thankfully, my PIC had some cash. (another reason PIC's are essential)

5. When exiting your vehicle, prepare for the worst. Always keep your mace in your hand and as much as you want to aim it at the air...don't. It is very important to be discreet with your weapons.

6. At times there may be people you have to get past (homeowners, factory employees, security). When faced with these road blocks, always say that you are working on a project for school. It's easy to BS, typically believable (espec with the cam), and most people want to help a struggling college student.

7. If and when the police catch you, play innocent. Tell them that you had no clue that the road was private, the building was closed, or what trespassing is.

The aftermath of girls night

Me with my sister who, when asked if she LOVED my blog, replied with "it's fine"...

Pillow Fight on a Friday Night

Tonight three generations of women in my family got together for a "girls sleepover". FYI- I miss a night out about as much as a pastor misses church. So I packed my overnight bag this morning and was fine with staying in until a girlfriend invited (totally tempted) me to grab dinner and drinks at Napoli. A sugar free RBV sounded sooooo much more refreshing than Raspberry Crystal Light, but being the good girl that I am, I kept my word and headed over to my momma's after work. We had some red bean soup, a family tradition (amaz), took an evening stroll, and while watching America's Funniest Home Videos, polished off that raspberry iced tea. I'm not converting, but I think a Friday night off every once in a while does the body good. zzzz

Au Revoir, summer!

I have never been a fan of summer. My dad says I am "allergic" to sweating. I think he's right. I just could never get into the heat, the sun, and the endless outdoor activites...in the heat and the sun. Some call that prissy, but I just see it as I like to be comfortable. Why would I CHOOSE to be hot and sweaty if I don't have to? Being a girl that would rather spend hours piecing together new outfits from old clothes in my closet rather than laying on the couch watching Gossip Girl on a hungover Saturday afternoon, I just don't understand why some girls prefer summer dressing to fall/winter dressing. Nothing excites me more than the call of fall. My heart rate races with thoughts of bulky leather boots, oversized handbags, layerying, accessories galore, scarves with everything, and my all time favorite...leggings. If I could, I would wear leggings every single day. Everytime I go to Target, I buy a new pair of leggings. A girl can not have enough, especially at $8 a pop. This year I am trying my hardest not to pull out the fall wardrobe before it's time. I will never forget the Missouri/Illinois Arch Rival game at the Dome in 2007. It was early September and was prob the first day since spring in the low 80's, I pulled out a sassy black and gold cotton dress in my closet and paired it with leggings and Uggs. Big mistake. I tried my hardest that afternoon to ignore the sweat that was dripping down my back (sick) and forming on my forehead (bonjour frizz). I then realized that I was going against all that I stood for...voluntarily making myself uncomfortable! Shame on me! Needless to say, I was beyond thrilled when we left the tailgate for a bar. Point of this story....I can not wait for fall and it's almost time!!

8 other reasons why I love the fall, in no particular order:

Oktoberfest
The colors of EVERYTHING
The Balloon Glow
Forest Park Wine Festival
Chili on a cool day
Drinking a pale ale on the patio of Llwelyns in the CWE
Sunday football
Did I mention the clothes?